High steaks

Meat day. Well, what can I say? Did it live up to my hopes? Was it everything I've been dreaming of?

Predictably, yes and no.

Steak for breakfast was mega. Seriously. It was tasty. It looked lovely. It. Was. Mega.
That amount of beef really set me up for the the day. I can honestly say it was the first day I didn't get hunger pangs.
My stomach has been making some wonderful noises this week. Growling like a hungry dog one minute, gurgling like a plughole another.
Have you noticed your stomach always makes noises when it's deadly quiet? It has to be the most mischievous part of the body.

The breakfast also made the house smell spectacular. When I was growing up, the smell of a roast beef coming from the rayburn was, perhaps, one of the greatest things about the weekend.
We'd come home from church, sit round the table and tuck in to the meat, roasted potatoes, yorkshire and suet pudding and other bits.
Today's smell may not have reached that height, but it was a solid substitute.

We mixed the steak with the soup at tea. This made the soup more meat than veg.

I'm not complaining.

As usual, I did miss something about my normal diet. Today, drinks. I can only drink coffee, herbal tea and water at the mo. I would have loved a whisky today. Or an ale. Or a cider. Or a red wine. Even a can of Coke Zero would have been a wonderful, celebrated thing.

I went shopping for the week ahead and the fruit bowl is bulging with a host of colourful treats.  I've also made a low-fat chilli, stocked up on grapefruit juice and bought an obscene amount of spinach. So it looks like the wind is here to stay...

Two days left of this plan. We've both lost weight and feeling positive about the wedding weight-loss scheme.

Tomorrow, we're on the home stretch. Chicken! More meat!

Diet goes bananas

Steak! I can barely contain my excitement that tomorrow morning's breakfast will basically consist of a slab of meat.

That's right. I'm having steak for breakfast. Surely this is the dream for every carnivore? 

I've got quite a loving relationship with beef. When I was growing up, my birthday meal request was always a roast beef dinner (followed by milk jelly).

When I turned18 I ate a 32oz steak, with chips and onion rings (and side salad, but not really counting that), at my local in Cornwall. I can honestly say I didn't break a sweat... until I finished, when the meat sweats hit

I love beef.

But... There's always a 'but' in these situations...

To get to the steak, I've drunk about a litre of skimmed milk,  eaten five bananas and had two portions of the cabbage soup. FIVE bananas.  

As I've mentioned, I love fruit but the bananas have taken it out of me. Both the WTB and I felt quite lethargic today and I'm putting it down to that.

When you look at it, the diet is quite barmy. Yes, I know it's a fad diet and only for a short time, but some of the combinations have been quite off.

Tonight, apart from removing the Christmas decorations, we're also discussing what we should eat next week. We will be left to our own devices again. The diet is making us examine what we're eating on a daily basis.

However, I wouldn't mind if we left bananas off the menu for a while. 

A year should do it.

Trumpet trousers

No matter what your age, breaking wind is funny.
Childish? Yes.
Embarrassing? Occasionally.
Funny? Always.

We boys seem to have the obsession over it because, I think, it not only has a funny sound but also a funny smell. We're simple creatures.

I'm sorry to go on about 'it' again, but when you're on this diet, it's the one thing that always comes up.

So yes, I'm at 'that' stage of the cabbage soup. The stage where you're right in the middle of the eating plan. When, like me, you've eaten four apples, peppers, cucumber and four grapes as your snacks,  the only badge of honour you have that you're on the diet is the occasional whizz-bang.
And yet... I've not noticed a huge increase in this activity. I'm sure there's more obstacles to come but so far? Not bad. Either that or I'm just naturally gassy.

Avoiding other foods is still proving a challenge. One of my colleagues brought in a homemade cake today. It looked and sounded stunning. Only more coffee and pints of water solved the hunger pang.

The exercise aspect of the healthier life still needs to be tackled. WTB loves zumba but the idea of me joining in fills the whole town with dread. I'm a keen walker but I know that's not enough. Bike riding isn't an option (at the moment) so it may mean I need to go back to the gym.

While tomorrow brings milk back and introduces bananas, I know that in my head I can't wait for steak day.

Green machine

I don't hate vegetables, really I don't, It's just I've never had the best relationship with them. 

I've never understood how people can chomp down on a raw carrot or look forward to eating celery. Both of those, in my opinion are best served in stout, traditional dishes. Pies for example. Or stews. Or, in fact the cabbage soup which has become the focus of my life this week.

I just don't think I'd only eat veg throughout the day*.

Today was always going to be tricky for me. No fruit. Still no meat. No dairy. No bread. Just veg.

Breakfast consisted of cucumber and peppers with black coffee. Dinner? Well the soup, of course, and some more cucumber and peppers.  Tea had a spark of variety. Baked potato. some more of the soup and steamed spinach, courgette and broccoli.

So far, so healthy.

The food itself has been fine. But we're in a tricky period, I'm sure all of us would agree. The flotsam and jetsam of festive good still lingers in our kitchen cupboards. I know that if I open one cupboard I will find about 12 Kinder Eggs. Temptation has never been closer. Especially when the editor brings in bag after bag of Christmas food for the newsroom to eat. It's all very kind but it's taking some will power to avoid the treats. Thank goodness I still have coffee! Huzzah!

I also think I'm starting to experience the one familiar problem the diet has. Gas. Guffs. Farts. Trumps. Parps. I've got a sneaking suspicion the cheese will be cut quite a lot this evening. I can only hope they hit their peak before work tomorrow.

Tomorrow I can bring fruit back in. I'll be hitting the apples from early morning.

*Apart from potatoes. I mean you can have chips, waffles, fondant, mash, baked, fried...

Cold feet

So I'm sitting in the office today, looking out across the Malvern Hills, trying to crack a headline about a new morgue (seriously) and it suddenly dawns on me that my feet are freezing.
They're blocks of ice; they were at the stage where you're not quite sure if they're damp or slightly cold. Now, I'm usually quite cold while sitting at my desk. The window lets in a bit of a breeze. Indeed, with the strong winds hitting Cheltenham today, the office kitchen window was whistling like a kettle on a rayburn for a good few hours, but my feet are rarely cold.
So what did I blame for this weird happening? The bloomin' cabbage soup.
Of course, it's nothing to do with that. I know it's cold in my head as my rugby-hit knees are aching. But my heart is blaming the soup.
The soup is actually quite tasty. The WTB put a fair kick of cayenne pepper in, turning it from boring and bland to spicy and seriously tasty. I could eat it even if I wasn't on a diet. But, as the WTB so accurately put, it just needs chicken and a bread roll.

Today's condition has been eating fruit. I can eat as much as I like. Bliss. Apples, apples and more apples for me. I will never get bored with that beautiful fruit, wonderful tasting thing, creator of cider. Tomorrow though it's veg only. Balls.